My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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