i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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