I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
