VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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