I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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