My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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