just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
