so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
