I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Randomize
