She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
