I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
