They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize