She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize