I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
