I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
