Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
