you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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