just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
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