At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
