carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
no, he came in my armpit
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
These tits shall not be calmed
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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