Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
