Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
