will power is for people who don't want to get laid
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I feel like a drive thru vagina
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
