I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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