I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize