He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
