how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
