How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
