Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(843): View more from South Carolina

just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?

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(816): View more from Missouri

and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.

(1-816): View more from Missouri

Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours

(816): View more from Missouri

outstanding.

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(443): View more from Maryland

Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella

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(630): View more from Illinois

I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.

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(419): View more from Ohio

"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..

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(937): View more from Ohio

I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.

(925): View more from California

I'll make missing person signs.

(937): View more from Ohio

You're a good friend.

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(416): View more from Toronto

it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.

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