my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
