i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
