I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
