Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
