yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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