Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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