I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
