He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
