Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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