I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
