hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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