If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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