I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
