Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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