I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
