i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
