No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize