i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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