remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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