do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I could fuck to npr.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
