made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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