Having a random hookup so left but love u
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
