Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
