Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Fuck appropriateness.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
