well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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