haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I think my vagina is haunted
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
