yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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