sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
