So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
