Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
sex in a hospital.. check
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
