She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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