Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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