what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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