i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
