so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
